Ipharadisi
By Hilary Sallick
Ipharadisi, where all the dead are living
May we one day join them all there
— South African
freedom song
There was an orange fish large and round
among the waters
of the shore Curious I took her up
into my arms
I carried her along the pier
then farther away
She looked up at me as we went
I saw she could breathe
I was walking up the steps
of the subway past a group
of soldiers young men hanging out
on the landing There was no threat
when they spoke to me They were
curious I kept going
Then we were in the Square
among many people
She said (and by now that
she spoke was hardly a surprise)
I like it here and It’s not lonely
I thought of the sea the water teeming
around beds of coral the
life everywhere unknown to
me then I imagined
a solitary existence
far below in darkness
persisting
As anything is everything so
it will be in paradise
The orange round strangely cuddly
fish is child self cousin
ghost not just one
not just the living or the dead
but one of all all of one
and alone the same for each of us
Last night I sang to a grieving man
in the car driving him home I tried to offer
something into his dark solitude
He listened
patiently a little curious
Yes he said Thank you
but I can’t prove it scientifically
We both know that
I remember the moment of reaching
for her how I took hold of her
with surprising ease She
was passive languid washed
by the waves nosing
freely among them
She accepted my touch
too
I lifted her dripping soon
held her closer
soon felt a response from
her a nuzzle then
a gaze then
a voice
So I circle back and back
going forward
so we join each other
Tonight I saw the full moon rising
large and round and orange
the color of the fish
floating up into cloud among the waters
of the sky
I want to tell you
I had an interesting dream this
morning the part of me
that dreams was
alone under the watery
surface the part
of me you hold and know
It’s always seemed that way
Copyright © 2020 by Hilary Sallick.